White, Like Snow
by forbrighterdays
Summary: To Blair, a white sky meant sledding and hot chocolate. Things that made her think of childhood and perfect memories like her time with Nate.


One-Shot. Yes, I was inspired by those wonderful pictures of them in the snow. Sigh. I can't wait for that episode. This is basically just all the spoilers pertaining to Blair and Nate that are coming up in the next few episodes, there are bits and pieces of spoilers you've read in here, but of course all this stuff isn't going to happen all in one episode.

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**White, Like Snow.**

It was a bitter cold winter evening on the Upper East Side, but to most New Yorkers that didn't matter. There were still people ice-skating at Wollman's, and shopping on 5th Avenue, and walking around Central Park. Blair Waldorf and Nate Archibald were just two of those many people.

"So, uh, thanks for meeting me. Again."

"No problem, Nate, like I told you before, I'm always here. It's nice being able to hang out with you again."

"Yeah, it is nice." He said, effectively ending the conversation again. Damn. He'd been doing that all day.

They walked the length of two or three blocks in silence, it had been like this all day. Neither one was really sure of what was an acceptable conversation to have with the other, and every time they did get a conversation going, one of them would say something that the other couldn't respond to, and then it just got awkward. Blair knew that if Nate wanted to talk about what had been bothering him so much lately he would be the one to bring it up. She was done prying, for today. Nate always needed time to think about what he was going to say, and she was sure that whatever he said when he eventually did talk to her would be worth it.

"I-I. Ugh. I just don't know what to say. I feel like I'm just wasting your time. I'm wasting everyone's time." He said, staring off into the white sky.

Nate hated when the sky was white, it meant that snow was inevitable; Blair, on the other hand, loved it. A white sky meant sledding and hot chocolate. Things that made her think of childhood and perfect memories like her time with Nate.

"You're not wasting my time. Just tell me what started all this. You said on the phone it was something about Vanessa…? Talk to me."

"Well, I mean I saw her flirting with some guy. I was walking over to her apartment to surprise her and there she was, standing outside with him. I don't even know who it was, but they were laughing and then they exchanged numbers and he left. She went inside her apartment and I waited a while before I went in. The whole time I was there though, I don't know. She was just really distant. And she was texting someone. The whole time. I know it was him."

"Oh, Nate, I'm so sorry." She said while cursing that Brooklyn Bitchin her head. She had never deserved Nate. "So, what did you do about it?"

"I called her out on it. I don't know how to handle stuff like that. I suck in the relationship department, you know that." He said sheepishly.

Blair disregarded the last comment; she wasn't going to get into _that _tonight.

"Haha, well what did she say when you brought it up."

Nate ran his fingers through his hair, thinking. He'd been doing that all day, running his fingers though his hair, and thinking.

"I don't even know honestly. She got offended and was yelling at me for spying on her or something. I couldn't tell you. I just left. I told her I was done. I don't know what I was doing with her anyway." He trailed off.

"That's horrible."

"Why are you being so sympathetic? I don't mind it, but you hate Vanessa."

"Yes." She said smiling, looking at him like she was talking to a five year-old. "But she hurt you, so of course I'm going to be there for you. I still hate her, by the way."

"Well thanks."

"You're welcome," she said, smiling up at him.

Nate smiled back, "So what about you, what's been going on lately?"

"Well, wouldn't you like to know?"

"Yeah, tell me anything, I'm tired of wallowing in my stupid problems."

"Well I probably won't be getting into Yale."

"No way, how? Yale is your dream, you have to go there."

"Ha I'm glad you think like that, but no, apparently it isn't for me. Didn't you hear about all the stuff I put on Gossip Girl about Dan and Ms. Carr?"

"No, uh I took a personal sick day. I was with Vanessa and, uh…"

"Chuck?"

"Yeah."

"It's easy enough to say. I don't care anymore anyway. We tried, it didn't work. It wouldn't have anyways. I can't believe I was stupid enough to pursue it in the first place."

When Nate didn't say anything about the subject Blair just shifted the conversation back to her ruined future at Yale.

"Right, well everything is so fucked up. I don't know what I'm going to do anymore!" She cried out, her voice cracking. "Yale has been my dream for so long. I'm so tired of not getting anything I've always worked so hard for. The only thing I was ever really good at was school! And now that's ruined too."

"You'll figure something out, I know you will; you always do. You'll get Yale, and everything else that you want too. It'll all be okay. I promise."

"But how do you know that?" Blair sniffed, openly sobbing now. She kept wiping her face off with her coat, but the tears kept coming. Why was it so damn cold? Her face would be frozen in no time!

"I just do, you have a way of making things happen for you. This will turn out alright."

"I really hope so." She mumbled, the tears finally subsiding.

"Hey, come here." Nate said, opening his arms to Blair after looking at her face clearly for the first time since the Yale-topic had come up. She looked like hell. Her face was full of tears and her nose was red, but if she didn't look so damn depressed, she'd look adorable.

Blair snuggled into his arms, fitting every contour of his body as perfectly as she always had. This was where she was supposed to be; this was home. This boy right here, _this _was what life was about. Moments like this.

Without thinking, Blair made the move that she had always made when they were embraced like this. Just by lifting her head from his chest, her lips were positioned at the bottom of his chin. She gently kissed him, this was her effective way of starting a kiss every time she felt like it. The height difference was perfect here; it always had been, just like all the other physical aspect of their relationship.

And Nate swiftly ducked his lips so they were up against hers. They both moved in for the kiss, and neither was expecting the sudden jolt of electricity they felt.

Maybe it was because they hadn't been like this in a while, they were past the withdrawal they'd felt when the relationship had first ended. How do you go from kissing and being with someone everyday of your life to sharing nothing at all with them?

Nate didn't know, but he had no clue how he had gone so long without _this. _This had to be, without a doubt, the best feeling in the world. He couldn't believe he hadn't gone back to Blair, begging her just to take him back so they could kiss and snuggle in bed after spending the night at her house. Moments like this broke the barrier he always kept up of things he'd rather not think about; all the feelings and memories of the past were flooding in at an alarming rate.

Blair didn't know she'd gone though it, she was just glad to be in this moment with him. She'd forgotten how good it felt to be kissing Nate. He was perfectly gentle with her, always putting the right amount of pressure on her mouth to make her feel warm even when there was snow suddenly flurrying around them.

Mhm, yes, Blair knew she had loved the snow and the white sky and being in Central Park for some reason.

It wasn't until Nate's tongue brushed against Blair's lips that she really realized what they were doing.

"What are we doing?" Blair said as suddenly as she'd thought it, pulling away from his kiss but staying close in his arms.

"Well, I'm kissing you." He said with a dazed smile. "Why? Is there something wrong?"

"I-I don't know. I just don't know. Everything is so fucked up, and this should be simple, this should be easy as breathing, but it's just, it's not. It's even more complicated than everything else because five months ago you were making out with the Duchess and I walked in on you and you were, Nate, you were really mean to me. And I didn't forget that. Every time I saw you, and even when I didn't, I was thinking about how mean you were when you talked to me, and the look of disgust in your eyes, and I've been trying to forget that ever since then, but it's hard. I don't understand anything anymore. You hated me so much in that moment, I could tell because I know you Nate, I know you better than anyone else does. You've had no time for me though, ever since last year. I've always been in love with you, but you never seemed to care before."

She'd held her own until the last line, her voice cracking on 'love'. In the movie that was her life, the director would have yelled 'cut!' and she would have performed the line again, perfectly this time. She would not look like a poor teenager who was pouting about her heart getting ripped out and stomped on. That was for silly little immature girls, and Blair Waldorf certainly was not one of those girls.

This was real life though, and there was no going back, and definitely no taking back what she'd said.

There was no stopping this now though, she'd started it. This talk, _the _talk. The only thing that she'd wanted from him in a long time. All she'd needed was for him to talk to her, to finally talk to her about anything and everything. She wasn't sure she wanted it anymore, not after seeing the look in his eyes.

"Blair." He said, still holding her tight in his arms, but thinking a mile a minute. He'd been waiting for this, waiting for a time where they could just talk and sort all this crazy stuff out together. He'd actually been looking forward to it, but all the times he'd thought of what he was going to say when she finally approached him vanished, and all he had to work with was a blank script.

"Blair, I'm…sorry. No, that isn't a good enough word to use. I'm horrible, I just, I suck. I never deserved you and I don't know what to say to you after all this time. I wasn't disgusted with you Blair, I was _never _disgusted with you. Blair-bear. I was more disgusted with myself. I was feeling sorry for myself. I wasn't thinking. Actually, I was thinking that I've been mad at you all this time, but I can tell now, that you're standing in front of me, that I was never disgusted with you. I've always loved you too, and I know its way too late for it to matter at all, but it's still true. And I'll always be sorry about everything I've ever done to hurt you, but ever since we ended things I've just been too scared to find you and beg you to take me back because it was my mistake in the first place. It was all my fault. I never should have let you go."

Neither of them spoke for a while, they reveled in the silence, one's eyes never leaving the other's. Blair's eyes didn't wait long, but they eventually teared up, just like she knew they would. She didn't try to stop them this time though, Nate was doing all the work for her.

"Does this mean something though?" Blair questioned after some time of being held in his arms. She never wanted to have to let go.

"I think so. I'm tired of staying away from you Blair, I need you in my life, you're the only one that held it together in the first place. I've missed you too much to deny that."

"So it means we're back together, right?"

"Yes. But only if you want to be."

Blair laughed, and she gave him one of those rare, genuine smiles that she only handed out to the select few, the lucky ones. Nate had received more than anyone else by a landslide.

"Of course I want to be. I've missed you too. I've missed being you're girlfriend."

"Good."

They met each other for the kiss again, this time neither was holding back anything.

Nate was completely focused on how good it felt for his hands to be wrapped up in Blair's hair, and there was nothing on Blair's mind but the feel of Nate's lips against hers, until she got to thinking.

What if all he'd just said didn't mean anything after a while, what if he did exactly what he had done to her before? She wouldn't be able to handle it; that was a fact. And how had this conversation gotten to this? She was helping him with his problems with Vanessa, it certainly hadn't been her intention to start anything with her, and she was sure he hadn't had any ulterior motives to asking her to help him out. He had been so torn up about the debacle with Vanessa just a few minutes ago…

What if this did mean something though? What if this was the universe's way of telling each other they were meant to be. Blair had given up almost all hope of ever being with Nate again, but somehow he had still come to her when he needed help the other day, and again today he had called her. She knew he didn't want to constantly be turning to her for advice, but he still had, _twice, _in a _one _week_. _That had to count for something? Right?

"Wait," She started, breaking the kiss for the second time since it had begun. "What about Vanessa and Jenny and Serena? Or all the other girls that are always around, vying for your attention? What if it's not different this time? I-I can't deal with it, I don't think I'll be able to go through it, if you leave again."

"Irrelevant," He said shaking his head.

He leaned in to kiss her lips once more, but she pulled away.

"No, Nate, I need to know. I don't want to be put through that again. I need you to be honest with me. Are you sure you're not suddenly going to get bored with me?" She said, turning her head down so she wouldn't have to make eye contact with him.

"Irrelevant," he said once more, shaking his head and smiling as he placed his fingers under her chin and lifted it up so he could look into her beautiful blue orbs. "Irrelevant, because there won't be anyone else this time, I can promise you that. This time it's only you. I don't want to put you through that again, I don't even want to think about how I could have managed to be such an ass in the first place. I'm sorry, and you don't need to worry. You've pulled me back in, I'm forever yours, unless, of course, you decide you don't want me, then I'll gladly let you go so that you can be happy. I'll only want you, Blair Waldorf. Always."

A single tear trickled down her face, but she brushed it away before he had the chance to. She tightened her arms even more than they already were around his torso and pressed her face into his jacket.

"Thank you." She mumbled, just loud enough for the sound to carry to his ears.

"You're welcome." He said as he pressed his lips against her hair and whispered the three little words she'd wanted to hear from him for so long. "I love you."

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